Now before you get excited and start calling all the friends in your address
book to be bridesmaids at your wedding, you might consider thinking about some
of the possible ramifications.
Do you dream of a huge wedding party with an army of bridesmaids at your
side? Do you think that planning your wedding will be easier with so many
friends to help out? Before you pick up the phone to invite all the friends in
your address book to be bridesmaids at your wedding, you might consider thinking
about some of the possible ramifications.
It can be expensive for you. Even though most bridesmaids and groomsmen pay for
their attire (and housing and airfare if they’re coming from out of town), the
bride and groom are expected to furnish a bouquet or boutonniere at the wedding
and give gifts to all of their attendants. Their attendants should also be
included in the rehearsal dinner. Many other expenses can add up: special
accessories, weekend wedding activities, and renting additional limousines to
accommodate everyone.
More people means less personal. It’s fun to dream over your wedding with one or
two or maybe even three good friends. In such a small group, it’s easy to have
intimate conversations, trade ideas, and make plans. It’s easy to know who’s
doing what and what needs to be done. Everyone’s ideas can be heard and
considered.
But what happens when you’re in a room full of ten people and they all have
different ideas and want to be heard? Even when such a group can be relatively
well organized, it might be difficult for everyone to remember all the decisions
that were made and what is expected of them. Few people have ten
very-best-of-friends. If you include your truly best friends in a group of “only
friends” and acquaintances, does anyone really feel special? You might ask
yourself how you would feel if you were asked to be one in a group of three
versus one in a group of ten.
More help for you, but more work, too. Your wedding party is there to help you,
but this often entails giving them instructions. It is easy to work with two or
three people, but it can be frustrating and confusing to deal with a large group
of people. You will be telling them when to show up, where to stand, and how to
dress. If you want to be a relaxed bride, simplify your wedding party.
It’s expensive for your attendants. When you ask a person to be a member of your
wedding party, you’re also asking her or him to spend money on attire and
possibly other items related to the wedding. This can add up to a considerable
sum. A person who does not feel very close to you may still feel obliged to say
“yes” to your request. It’s important to be gracious and take this into account
when extending your request.
A large ceremony site is needed. A large wedding party needs a large site for
the wedding ceremony. This also means more expense unless you’re planning on an
outdoor ceremony in a large, open area. Otherwise you might have to find a very
large cathedral, a civic center, or a football stadium. At any rate, if you
really want a large wedding, you’ll have to find a large site to accommodate
everyone.
So, how many attendants should you have? There are no hard and fast rules about
the proper number of attendants. Many brides choose to have only one attendant.
Sometimes this is the best course of action when a bride has so many friends she
doesn’t want to risk hurting anyone’s feelings by not including them. On the
other hand, two or three makes a good group.
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